However, the first love experience is no less powerful than it was in the 1940's. The loss of a first love can be so crushing to some teenagers that they become suicidal.
Adults who underestimate the strength of the bond-- or the impact of the loss -- of a first love may have forgotten what a blow it was when they lost their own first loves. The pain of the breakup will subside with time, but the love may stay buried and dormant for decades.
I was very close with his family and sexually, he and I crossed a lot of 'first time' lines with each other.
I still get butterflies around him but I thought it was just me. As we chatted and talked on the phone, it was obvious that he was excited to see me.
Even more belittled by many parents is a teenager's (or preteen's) love for a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Adults refer to these relationships with demeaning language, calling them "just puppy love," and these romantic bonds are not taken seriously.
And I am not ashamed to say I was suicidal for quite a while. I also apppreciate Trang's first note in the comment above - at that age, love is "just" love, with far less real-world complications. Kalish's question regarding when teens say they love their parents yet wonder if teens can really love their peers I would suggest that we are talking about a very different kind of love. Recently, I was traveling on business alone in his city.
Why are we so elated to rediscover long lost friends in our adult years if, as some parents believe, they were so dispensable to us as children?
Friends from our childhood or adolescence are special, no matter how much time has elapsed between visits.
These compelling connections are the result of shared roots during the formative years.
They may even try to comfort teenagers with lighthearted lessons: a surprising number of men and women wrote to me to bitterly complain about parents who joked years ago, "Don't worry! While most men and women find satisfying partners after first love breakups, there are adults who spend their married years aware that "something is missing." They continue to think about their lost first loves.
Perhaps if they had married their first loves when they were younger, they tell me, they could have formed lasting and fulfilling marriages, but they will never know. You get PB on the jelly side and jelly on the PB side.Secondly, you don't need to have had sex with anybody for them to be your first love. My parents agreed with it and beleived me, when I said 'I loved him' and I still do ten months on after the relationship has ended. Firstly, because when we re teenagers, we do not feel the pressure to choose someone as our husband/wife. Secondly, the fact that most first loves do not involve sex makes it very special. That's why many people still long to reunite with their first love.